Relationship Questions

Dear Ministry Moment,
Is attending Church or Mass for Catholics every Sunday necessary for having a relationship with God? Can’t I have a personal relationship with God without going to Church on Sunday?

Untamed Hippie

Dear Untamed Hippie,
Christ established the Church so that we could be there for one another. Human beings need one another and without one another we falter. The Church is a community of believers. In a recent study on Black Catholics by the National Black Catholic Congress, Black Catholics who are engaged in the Church tend to be satisfied and committed to the Church. Church is a great place to use your talents and skills and have fun at the same time. Joining the choir, being a greeter or lector, teaching Sunday school or Religious Education, serving as a wedding planner or youth leader or starting a ministry of your own are just a few of the ways you can become engaged. “For where two or three have gathered in my name I am there in their mist.” Matthew 18:20.
Signed Fr. Paul Williams

Dear Ministry Moment,
I have a friend who is in a relationship with a young man that doesn’t necessarily not believe in God, he is not really Christian, but she is a faithful church going young lady. Her faith in her family and herself is definitely walked by faith and not by sight. This does not really affect their relationship now because they vibe so well together, but can it eventually effect their relationship?
CallmeBlu

Dear CallmeBlu,
The intimacy in marriage enjoyed in sexuality cannot begin to compare with the intimacy in marriage that can be experienced in common prayer, worship together and raising children from a united base of values, traditions and language/stories. It is wholly recommended that people marrying be of the same faith. When this is not possible, every effort ought to be made to be as one with faith as a couple needs to be in finances, lifestyle and roles. Where there are differences in key aspects of a person’s life, these create tensions that later become excuses for ramping up fighting and causes for disintegration. Though not always the case, often the case. The courting process can determine how open and aware a future spouse may be. It is strongly encouraged to remain as objective as possible regarding assessing a life long partner.

Dear Ministry Moment,
What is “chemistry” in a relationship and is it overrated? Can one develop chemistry over time?
Chemistryman

Dear Chemistryman,
Chemistry in a relationship refers to a natural connection between two people. It explains why friends and romantic partners become close. Psychology Today published an article written by Kelly Campbell, PhD (2011) on relationship chemistry and identified several factors associated with chemistry bonding. One significant factor that was identified was that being comfortable with oneself allows them as individuals, him or her to express their true self to other people. This makes it easier to get to know that person. Also, self understanding makes you more tolerant and accepting of other people, even if perspectives on important matters differ. People who have chemistry are usually non judgmental and share similarities. Chemistry usually happens during the first meeting. Good chemistry allows you to be at ease with the other person and to easily engage in stimulating conversation. One of the most important factors in a romantic relationship is a physical attraction. Not that one has to be drop dead gorgeous or handsome to be attractive to someone else, but they do need to be able to spark a little fire. Keep in mind beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Therefore “chemistry” in a relationship is not at all overrated. Because it happens at the beginning of a relationship, trying to develop it overtime can be quite difficult. Over time you can lose the sparks from “chemistry” in a romantic relationship and with a sincere effort regain it back. For a better understanding of issues surrounding happiness, marriage and God’s plan, a great resource is the apostolic exhortation by Pope John Paul II called: Familiars Consortio – On the Family.